Horror Horoscope-- March 30th to April 5th

 

Welcome to your Weekly Horror Horoscope, where the stars align with screams and the cosmos whispers chilling secrets! This week's astrological insights come with a terrifying twist. 

Let’s see what the stars have in store for you this week. 

Aries: March 21 – April 19

You have been a lone wolf for too long and have decided to try this “friendship” thing. You end up asking a family member to introduce you to some people, and immediately click with at least one person. This person seems a lot like you at first, but before you can exchange friendship bracelets, they reveal something that shocks you. And not the good kind of shock. Their thoughts may be a little too radical for you, and you will consider breaking up with them. By the end of the week, you will be back at home, avoiding everyone again. 

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

You and your colleague will be tasked with doing research. At first, it seems like an interesting job until you immediately run into issues, along with the revelation of previous records created by former employees. Turns out there are too many discrepancies. You and your colleage know way too much now and have put yourselves in danger of being fired. This week, try not to work too efficiently at your job. 

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

After getting a makeover, you end up being stalked by someone who thinks you look like someone they know. At first, they are only following you. It is when they break into your house that you decide to take it seriously. But by then, they have already kidnapped you. Try to avoid getting makeovers and learn some cool self-defense moves. 

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

Interested in old artifacts, you take your family to the museum, and end up fidgeting with something old and innocent-looking. The youngest in your family will be possessed by whatever comes out of that artifact, leading you to take the blame for being so careless. The only way to remove the accusation is to help the younger relative, but you may decline to and instead prefer to run away. 

Leo: July 23 – August 22

 This week, you will have to work late-night shifts and end up commuting home at a spooky hour. The only person traveling with you will seem really creepy and predatory. They keep watching you, making you uncomfortable. Eventually, they may interact with you, but it won’t be the good kind. Ask your boss to give you a different shift. 

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

You’ve just gotten into a relationship or become serious in one. Things are all sunshine and flowers until they quickly become suffocating. You jumped too impulsively into a relationship that wasn’t what you expected it to be. Now you’re trapped in it, and that leads you to become irritated with suppressed feelings. Perhaps you shouldn’t have downloaded those dating apps and stayed single for a while. 

Libra: September 23 – October 22

Travel has always been a hobby of yours, and so this week, when your friends plan a trip to the countryside, you couldn’t be more excited. You and your friends will travel to a place no one has visited before. Everything is new and exciting at first, even the strange new culture people seem to have. By mid-week, you will realize that the people are in a cult. Another day later, and you and your friends will discover the cult practices and regular rituals, which will now include you and your friends. It is not an honor. 

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

Your imagination will run away with you this week. Every little thing you do will immerse your mind in new fantasies, until you can’t tell fact from fiction. You will feel your house is distorted, and then your face will look different. Before long, you will start acting delusional, concerning everyone around you. They will blame your video game addiction, but you are convinced of a supernatural occurrence. 

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

You are always desperate to fit in and will go to any lengths to do so. This week, you will come up with the ingenious idea to get a cosmetic procedure that is new and experimental. You will ignore all risks and warnings and just go ahead with the procedure. At first, you will be pleased with the results. That is before the skin peeling begins, and the rashes. When your skin begins to look like it is melting, you will realize that the procedure is failing. The price of your fame is apparently your skin. 

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

A new job will come your way, which requires you to work together with your family. This exciting opportunity takes you to a secluded estate surrounded by woods. Soon enough, you will learn that there isn’t something in the woods; it is the woods that are the problem. You and your family may not make it out alive. 

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

Desperate to make a mark, you resort to doing something illegal. Unfortunately, you’re not good at it and were immediately caught. Worse, you weren’t caught by a human but the very house you were conducting an illegal activity in. You will not be able to escape and, of course, learn the hard way that crime doesn’t pay. 

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

You and your neighbors will come together when you hear a weird tapping noise. You will all join together and complain to the building management, who will investigate and find nothing. The weird tapping noise will continue, driving you and your neighbors mad. It is after you all end up at the institution that the truth will be revealed. It was the pipes all along. 

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