Dear Diary...

I think I finally know why I've been putting off writing the next chapter to my novel. I have been busy promoting my latest ebook (The Ensnared- for $2.99 only!), but the real reason is that this story has become closer to me that I had imagined at first. 

The story is a compilation of bits of my experiences and my emotions as well and it isn't surprising that I've become even more attached to this story. 

Of course, I do love each and every story that I've written so far, but they don't carry my true sentiments. What I mean is that, although I've created the protagonists of each of my stories and like them for who they turned out to be, they never contained even a single molecule of my true self. They were heroines, strong and had sorted out lives. They did have problems, but not as devastating as the protagonist of my new novel has.

'She' went through something that I had to. Granted it was never as bad as 'she' has to go through, but the shadows of those incidents are visible even as the circumstances created are magnified and exaggerated. 

Anyway, coming back to my writing, I keep finding some excuse or the other not to write it. I'm just two chapters away from completion so either I don't want the story to end or I'm not happy with the way the plot is shaping up or I have to admit that in real life, things don't get sorted out the way in books. The last is more likely. 

When everything was crumbling down, things didn't work the way they do in books and movies. It took a lot of time, to get out of it through self-realization and the determination to survive. In books however, it's impossible to write all the anguish faced over the years. It has to be impactful yet concise and give the readers the information they need about the things the protagonist has gone through.

So yes, it's hard and maybe I'm jealous that my protagonist is getting it all easy because that is the most logical conclusion the story can have. Maybe I would feel a lot better after I write it all down already.