Horror Horoscope 24th February

 

The stars have spoken. Let's see what horror awaits you this week!

Aries 

Don't walk home alone at night. Someone could be following you. Stay indoors with the lights on.

Taurus 

Avoid wearing red. Stay clear of red objects, especially those shaped like balloons and floating away.

Gemini 

This week, do not look into the mirror. You may get into a fight with the person in the mirror, so brush your teeth looking at a wall.

Cancer 

This week, abstain from going to the beach. You're likely to get bit by a sea creature.

Leo 

This week, stay clear of relatives because they might be jealous of you to the point of pushing you off a cliff.

Virgo 

This week, make sure not to head out to any heavy rock concerts of bands you have barely heard of. They are likely to belong to a cult who are looking for sacrifices.

Libra

This week, do not take a loan from men who make absurd terms for lending money. Make sure to read contracts properly. You may end up signing off a pound of flesh.

Scorpio 

This week, avoid loitering about in industrial areas that are notorious for dumping toxic waste anywhere.

Be careful where you step because you're likely to be attacked by something pointy.

Sagittarius 

Enjoy hunting? Well, this is not the week to indulge in this sport. In fact, stay clear of any sport where anything can be used as weapons. Stay indoors, but make sure you are alert to attacks from behind.

Capricorn 

This week, avoid going to a farm. Especially a petting zoo. Stay clear of animals who begin talking to you.

Aquarius 

This week, expect a leakage in your house. Don't worry it's not a plumbing issue, but something is far worse. Remember the tape you watched last week?

Pisces 

You may hear a tune or song playing by the sea. Avoid going towards it because it is not a celebrity practising for their concert. 

You may be compelled to suddenly go swimming in the dark and see some creatures you think are part of your imagination. 

They are not imaginary!