Horror Horoscope-- April 27th to May 3rd
It’s Horror Horoscope time again, because the cosmos refuses to mind its own business. Here’s what the stars are threatening you with this week.
Aries: March 21 – April 19
You’re feeling pretty nosy this week and can’t help but comment on everything going around you. An event coming up in your city is the perfect opportunity for you to pass comments on and interfere in the setup. Your nosiness will be rewarded when you find some juicy gossip. Unfortunately, that gossip is also dangerous, and you will find yourself in trouble with a hidden coven.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
Remember that saying: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This week, you will end up creating problems for yourself when you treat someone badly, intentional or not. Karma comes instantly and turns your life upside down. You will have to adjust to your new lifestyle with brand new problems affixed to you forever.
Gemini: May 21 – June 20
Do you know what’s behind your walls? Not rats, so no need to call the exterminator. And no squatter either. But you will be shocked to find that behind the walls is another vast space that doesn’t fit into the blueprints of your house. You will start an investigation and make the mistake of stepping into this space that turns out to be endless. Also, the walls are all yellow. And in one of these creepy rooms, there is a creature waiting to jump at you.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
You never learn from your mistakes, which is why this week you will be forced to learn from them. You will resort to bad habits, which will backfire on you because the people around you were always prepared for your regression. You will have a tough time overcoming these new problems you stepped into voluntarily.
Leo: July 23 – August 22
Studying witchcraft rarely yields optimal results, yet you think your research will provide you with better answers. You are wrong. An investigative study into witchcraft will cause problems in your personal life. You’re lucky a witch doesn’t put a hex on you because of your nosiness. Hopefully, you have the common sense to avoid witches at least.
Virgo: August 23 – September 22
The weather isn’t that great, but you and your friends decide to go on an adventure to honor a friend who always wanted to but couldn’t. Of course, you all end up getting lost. But the worst part is yet to come. You accidentally stepped into haunted grounds and are now being stalked by an entity that feeds on guilt. And you and your friends have a lot of it, considering what you did to your friend.
Libra: September 23 – October 22
You like to live on the edge. This week, that’s not a metaphor anymore. You will find yourself dangling or lying on an edge. Escape is almost impossible. Of course, your phone won’t work. You will make the useless effort to climb out of peril, but end up slipping and falling anyway.
Scorpio: October 23 – November 21
You like to prod things that don’t make sense to you. It’s just a hobby for you, poke things to see how they react. However, poking something sickly results in you accidentally spreading the disease to everyone around you. For some reason, the disease is rapidly spreading and harming everyone. Of course, you get blamed for the whole lot.
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
You are weird enough that people avoid you. This week, you will meet someone equally odd, and both of you will get on like a house on fire. In fact, that is exactly what you both might do: get into trouble. Both of you will try useless methods to get out of it, but end up paying for your recklessness anyway.
Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
Late-night snacking goes wrong for you when, instead of cookies and milk, you find one of your family members revealing their true form. It’s not what you expected, and you begin to wonder if it is something inherited. It probably is, and you will lose your appetite as you imagine what kind of monster you truly are.
Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
You will find yourself seeking shelter this week as things around you get catastrophic. While you may believe that this shelter is safe, you will soon experience strange occurrences leading you to believe that there is something invisible trapped with you. And guess what? It’s feeding off your fear and isolation. But you can’t help it. Things are scary sometimes.
Pisces: February 19 – March 20
You and your sibling have envisioned living in haunted houses since you were kids. This week, your wish comes true. You both will find yourself in a haunted house that has no doors or windows. You’re stuck, there’s no one around you, and oh yes, there is a creepy entity with you. Escape seems impossible.
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