Horror Horoscope: 11th May to 17th May
It’s Horror Horoscope time again, because the cosmos refuses to mind its own business. Here’s what the stars are threatening you with this week.
Aries: March 21 – April 19
A relative comes to stay, and now your entire routine is disturbed. They are not helpful and have a weird fascination with gardening and collecting twigs. On top of everything, they don’t sleep well at night, and you can hear them snapping twigs all the time. Fortunately, they will no longer disturb you towards the end of the week when you turn into a whole different person.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
Finding love is hard in today’s modern world, and so you have to resort to different methods to attract people. The usual cosmetic procedures are not cutting it, so you decide to undergo experimental procedures that may not give the results you want. Also, you will consider getting a procedure done on your feet after they don’t fit into a shoe.
Gemini: May 21 – June 20
You will be reminded of someone from your past as you go on a nature walk. Alone with your thoughts, you are bound to think that the plants and trees have a special message for you. People will think you have lost it, but as it turns out, they are wrong, and the vegetation is speaking to you. You may have a latent power that enables you to do so, or the flora is actually possessed by the person from your past.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
You will come up with a plan to record nature sounds so you can make money out of it. Instead, your recording will have interference that ruins your chances of posting relaxing sounds online. Upon further investigation, the interference you captured may bring in more money when you sell it as “unidentified sounds from outer space”. But this success won’t last after you are debunked. The interference turns out to be just a rabbit hopping by.
Leo: July 23 – August 22
You wish you didn’t have good hearing because you can literally hear everything happening in your neighbor's house. But recently, you have been hearing sounds coming from somewhere closer to you. Almost as if it is around your home. It could be the pipes, but it is more likely to be the nature around you that is transforming into something monstrous. A gardener is unlikely to help you at this point.
Virgo: August 23 – September 22
Games involving truth never end up being fun. Yet you will play a game at the party where everyone has to share one secret. Turns out literally everyone, including you, has a dangerous secret that for some reason begins to manifest into reality. You can’t escape your past, and you can’t escape your secrets. But you can stop playing these games that get you in trouble.
Libra: September 23 – October 22
Things keep snowballing for you this week. One minute you’re in a plane crash, but survive, and in the next second you’re being hunted by a shark. Also, your raft is beginning to deflate. You may find something to defend yourself with, but luckily, the shark will lose interest in you and leave you all alone as you wait for help to arrive. By that time, your raft may not survive.
Scorpio: October 23 – November 21
There’s nothing more creepy than adults playing with dolls and puppets. You tend to avoid such people, but this week you will encounter someone in authority who will harass you using a puppet. You won’t be able to do much about it except witness an unhinged play with characters that are violent. Go watch a movie instead, despite the ticket prices.
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
Your pursuit of perfection in everything you create will make you lose your mind. Your supporters will assure you that your creation is good, but they aren’t using superlatives. Your creativity will take a demented turn as you come up with weird ideas to create things. It may result in you being taken away so that your mental health can be checked.
Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
You tend to ignore small cuts, bruises, etc., because you think you’re tough. This week, you will get a splinter on your finger that you will once again ignore. But it’s not an ordinary splinter, and it does end up inside your body, but instead of causing a mild irritation, it causes a mutation inside you. You are likely to turn into a monstrous entity that everyone avoids. It would have been easier to just get the splinter out in time.
Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
You move into a new house, and the previous owners didn’t bother cleaning up. They’ve left behind toys too, one a dollhouse that is a replica of the house you are living in. At first, you are intrigued by it and maybe even let some kids play with it. But soon enough, you notice that every time something happens in the dollhouse, it mirrors an incident in your house as well. It’s advisable to let kids stop playing with the dollhouse so that you have fewer maintenance repairs in your actual home.
Pisces: February 19 – March 20
Just when you finally break the mold of your introvert nature and decide to attend a social event, there is a zombie outbreak. You’re not great at working with people, but now you must. The zombies are persistent, but the people you must cooperate with are not that helpful and are screaming a lot. In the end, you may decide to join the zombies after all.
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