Weekly Horror Horoscope: May 4th To May 10th
It’s Horror Horoscope time again, because the cosmos refuses to mind its own business. Here’s what the stars are threatening you with this week.
Aries: March 21 – April 19
You owe your neighbors a favor, and they instantly ask you to watch their kids. You’re not exactly fond of kids, and the kids don’t like you much either. While babysitting them, you’ll notice they behave a little odd, almost like adults. Then you will learn that the househelp had died a few years ago. You will begin to wonder if the kids are possessed by them. But then realize it’s not your problem and distance yourself when the parents come back.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
You hit your head, and while you didn’t lose your memory, you’re overanalyzing what it means. How did you not see the accident coming? Are you unaware or careless? You go on a self-discovery, which ends with you learning some not-so-good things about yourself. Turns out you are careless after all.
Gemini: May 21 – June 20
The neighbors are being weird again. There’s something off about their relationship. You notice the elder family members are actually scared of their children. You don’t want to get involved, but you get pulled into the drama anyway and learn shocking secrets. It’s bad enough for you to involve the police.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
Forget virus and malware. This week, your computer will be haunted by ghosts. These spirits are desperate enough to come into the real world and choose your computer as a gateway. It will be too late to update your system or subscribe to an antivirus program. The spirits are already here as your unpaid roommates.
Leo: July 23 – August 22
Your relationship takes a hit this week. You think your partner is cheating on you because they exhibit strange behavior. But soon you’ll realize that they were not cheating on you with a human but were possessed. Unfortunately, the situation cannot be repaired, and your partner leaves you. But your apartment is also no longer haunted, so maybe that’s a good thing?
Virgo: August 23 – September 22
A smile can brighten up your day. Unless it’s a smile from a stranger. And that stranger is in your apartment. And also quite possibly a supernatural entity. Turns out, the entity wants to deliver a message through their smiles, but it will take you some time to decode it and understand its relevance. Hauntings are complicated in this era.
Libra: September 23 – October 22
Stealing someone’s skincare routine is one thing. But stealing someone’s looks? Now, that’s crossing the line. Your vanity will reach dangerous heights, and you will enlist help from a friend to help you acquire someone’s beauty secrets. Things go wrong. The friend gets caught. You get exposed. Your cosmetics and skincare products are confiscated. You are forced to accept your natural looks.
Scorpio: October 23 – November 21
A new opportunity comes with strings attached. While it seems promising because you are getting paid, you are literally chained to a wall so that you don’t wander off to forbidden areas in your workplace. The rebel in you will get rid of the chains, but you will soon realize they were for your safety. There’s something lurking about in your new environment that can sense your presence and is now on the hunt.
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
Inspired by fiction, you and your friend set about creating a project with leftover parts from a previous project. It’s not environmentally friendly. You and your friend created a monster. That monster is now hunting you down. Sometimes it is good to not be overly concerned about the environment.
Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
You’ve gotten the help you wanted. But you’re not healed. In fact, after returning to the environment where you first lost control, you feel even more paranoid. There’s something about the way your family looks at you…as if they are plotting. But that becomes the least of your problems when you realize that on top of everything, there are ghosts in the house that keep dropping things and banging doors. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come home after all.
Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
You like watching movies a little too much. In fact, you begin to wish your life were a movie. This leads to you creating drama where there is none. Your sister disappeared? The clue must be in a movie. Is your pet fish acting weird? They’re probably plotting to return to the sea. The paranoia will lead you to say crazy things, which may get you institutionalized.
Pisces: February 19 – March 20
Visiting friends after a long time seems like the perfect vacation. Except your friend lives in a small town with conservative values. The locals seem to be abusive towards your friend, and this causes you to make a scene, only to realize that your friend was hiding a secret from you.
That secret keeps you trapped in the town forever.
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