Horror Horoscope: July 13th to July 19th

 

It’s Horror Horoscope time again, because the cosmos refuses to mind its own business. Here’s what the stars are threatening you with this week.

Aries: March 21 – April 19

No help is coming. You’re stranded in the middle of nowhere with the last person you would ever want to spend time with. They are surprisingly resourceful and want to be treated as equals. Of course, your ego does not allow that. Later you may get the upper hand when you learn their secrets, but they are manipulative, so be careful. 

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

This week you will be a glutton and refuse to share your food with anyone. It is when you run out of food that you decide to reach out to others for help. When they refuse, you decide to steal it from them. The food you steal will be laced with hallucinogens. You will go mad and start attacking people, resulting in you being permanently ostracized. 

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

This week you’re in the mood to be a tyrant. You want what you want, and for that you need someone to build something for you. Your new employee will be reluctant and hate you for forcing them. They will try to escape by asking someone for help. Things will not go your way after that. 

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

People will not listen to you this week. This deeply upsets your fragile ego to the point that you will decide to play mind games. Gaslighting is your special talent. When you have finally broken their confidence, you can control them, but unfortunately you’re sloppy and leave a trail that can get you caught. 

Leo: July 23 – August 22

After being struck with a catastrophic event, no one has come to find you yet. Desperation causes you to acclimate to your new surroundings and behave like the locals. Later, someone from your past will come to find you but will not be accepting of your altered personality. 

 

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

A new person enters your life and refuses to believe in your imaginary friends. They’re not imaginary to you. In fact, they are mystical creatures who don’t lose their wings when someone doesn’t believe in them. Rather, they turn violent and make sure a lot of people believe in their existence. You will have to bear witness to the punishment the new person will experience after they dismiss your warning. 

Libra: September 23 – October 22

This week you will be surrounded by peers who are in the exact same perilous situation as you. There’s no teamwork involved, and people will be panicking. Since you have no leadership qualities either, you will decide to save your skin by using others as a shield. This plan backfires when you manage to get rid of the problem and your peers, only to end up facing isolation in a place you have no idea how to escape from. 

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

People are truly not gone, even after death. Your family will learn this the hard way when they think you’re gone just because you happen to reach a certain age. They have no idea you are still in the same house, possessing a fungus that manipulates your family members. They will learn to never ignore you after they encounter the fungus and learn your true motives for eternal life. 

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

You love to experiment, especially with people. Unfortunately, someone thinks you’re committing a crime by creating hybrids. You see absolutely nothing wrong with mixing human and alien DNA, but clearly that’s against the law. So you decide to use the person making the most noise as your specimen. The experiment is a success, but the monster you have created turns on you. 

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Sick of your job, you decide to get a replacement. They are so excited to train under you that they ignore you being nervous about certain areas of the job and paperwork. You will manage to sneak away only for the new recruit to call you. Feeling sorry for them, you will return to help them combat the perils that come with the job. 

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

When medical science has no answers, the only way to save someone’s life is to turn to dark magic. You will receive a lot of criticism and resistance, but if you manage to stay on your path, you will manage to help a loved one. They won’t ever be the same again, but at least they are obedient to do whatever you ask of them. People may not like you, but you have never cared to win a popularity contest anyway. 

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

People can be ungrateful. Especially family members. You go out of the way to take care of them after an accident, and they keep suspecting you of being up to something. You are up to something, but that is none of their business. All you want is for them to stay near you, and instead they are being mean. By the end of the week, they will finally see things your way and stay with you forever. 

Add a challenging activity to your night with these zodiac puzzles!