HORROR HOROSCOPE: 21st September to 27th September

 

It’s Horror Horoscope time again, because the cosmos refuses to mind its own business. Here’s what the stars are threatening you with this week.

Aries: March 21 – April 19

You will receive a call from a stranger who seems to know a lot about you. At first you will dismiss it as a prank call from a friend, but then soon realize you have no friends. You will try to block the calls, but the stranger will find your social media and begin stalking you. Eventually you will realize that your stalker isn’t really a stalker and is trying to get your attention because your insurance expired. 

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

There is someone living in your wardrobe. But that’s okay because they promised to stay there and be your friend forever. Since you don’t have any friends, you have allowed this stranger to live in your wardrobe. This week, your friend will break rules and leave the wardrobe, and when you confront them, they will make excuses about trying to help you. It’s not a believable excuse, and you will end up breaking up with them for good. 

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

You will be swimming with the sharks this week. As an adventure sport. You will be paying for this activity. Things will go well at first, and you will be enjoying yourself until a technical glitch causes you to be without your safety gear. The shark, which has been restless for some time, will come after you, and you will be swimming for your life. There’s a 50% chance you survive this. 

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

You will go shopping this week and when you find nothing decent in your budget, head over to a weird new store that just opened. There, you will find a brand new pair of jeans that will make you feel more confident. Soon enough, you will notice that they also bring you luck because, strangely, anyone who bullies you suddenly disappears. 

Leo: July 23 – August 22

It’s time for a new haircut. You will go to a new salon and meet a hairdresser who seems obsessed with your hair. Her attention will give you the creeps but the hairdresser manages to do justice to your hair. But you will soon find that the hairdresser begins appearing everywhere you go. By the time you get ready for your next appointment, you will notice that the scissors look sharp enough to cut skin. 

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

You will enter a contest where the grand prize can solve all your problems, but the competition is tough, and the only way you can get ahead is by sabotaging others. By now, you have given up your morals and will indulge in some illegal deeds. Unfortunately, you will be caught and instead of being disqualified, receive the strictest punishment. 

Libra: September 23 – October 22

You will win a trip to space. It’s an adventure that is literally out of this world. Unfortunately, it is only when you’re up and away from Earth that you will remember you never entered any competition, and this whole deal was an excuse to get you out in space as part of an experiment. Trapped in space, you will have to rely on basic computer knowledge to miraculously get yourself back to Earth. 

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

There are strange occurrences happening in your neighborhood, but since you are overly optimistic about everything, you actually believe nothing will happen to you. By midweek, the person behind these incidents will enter your home because you carelessly left the door unlocked. Too late, you will realize that you have a tendency to be careless. Also, you will leave your gas stove on. 

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

You will inherit a house from a relative who hates you, but you will think nothing of it. The house is a mansion and has some odd paintings. You will take them down and throw them away, but they will show up on your walls again and again. Also, strange voices and things breaking will confirm you inherited a haunted house. You will now understand how much your relative actually hated you since escape is nearly impossible. 

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Your ego will get you in trouble this week. You will excel in your career and flaunt your wealth, inviting a curse from a downtrodden friend who is jealous of you. Whatever belongs to you goes to him. Luckily, you will find a loophole that transfers your misfortune to them too. You may not get your wealth back, but you will be humbled. 

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

An opportunity to work with a renowned scientist will land in your lap. The scientist may have been famous once but has now lost credibility because of their illegal experiments. Since no one was willing to work with them, that is why you are here. You won’t be able to back out and will be involved further in the experiments. The week will end with both of you branded as criminals. 

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

You will find a toy from your childhood that you hated. You will discard it only for it to turn up repeatedly. And every time it shows up, someone close to you gets seriously injured. You will think you got rid of it by burning it, but by the end of the week it turns up again, and since you will be alone at that time, you will be the next victim.