PLOT SUMMARY: When Kabir's fictional character from his book, Zaran Khan, is blamed for all the murders in the city, Kabir must solve the mystery before he is the one put behind bars.
Roughly translated to 'Nobody Knows' this movie will have you ask questions like:
Nobody knows why I'm watching this movie.
Nobody knows why the writer decided to write such a convoluted tale.
Nobody knows why the editor did such a shoddy job.
Nobody knows why the actors decided to sign on for this movie.
The list goes on...
Koi Jaane Na actually had an interesting premise on paper but the problems surfaced when too many characters were introduced in the first half, and then in the second half, they simply disappeared without any reason.
There are so many plot holes that you will at one point consider just switching off the movie because you just know that your questions are not going to be answered. But then you still watch because what if the ending wraps up all loose ends.
Does it?
Spoiler alert...nope.
In fact, if anything, one of the characters decides to make things even more confusing with her dialogue.
So in case, everything was somewhat resolved, well, they were not it seems.
KOI JAANE NA Movie Plot
Koi Jaane Na begins with a writer Kabir Kapoor walking about in the disguise of a pot-bellied Sardar. He tries to gain entry at a club, fails and then manages to bribe his way through the back entrance.
Cue the song which features Aamir Khan and a bunch of secondary characters among which is a guy called Vicky who is into illegal substances.
Right after the song ends, Vicky is somewhere at the back, harassing the dancer when Kabir comes over to save her and then pushes him into a back room and uses his taser on him.
The police come in and find him dead.
There's also a journalist called Ricky Rosario who is roaming about the club.
Now it's time to explain a few things because here's when confusion is going to set in.
Ricky was hired by Kabir's wife Rashmi and publisher, who is having an affair. Kabir had one book published and as per his contract, he was supposed to submit a sequel which Kabir didn't because he was distraught to see his wife consorting with his publisher.
It's been a year and a half and Kabir's agent too tells him to submit a book, not necessarily a good one, so he can get out of his contract, avoid returning the large advance he got for writing, and finally work for another publisher.
But Kabir doesn't want to submit another manuscript promoting his publisher and now ex-wife to send a journalist behind Kabir to find anything incriminating that would make Kabir lose the case and payback the advance. That's where Ricky comes in.
As per the agent, Kabir only has his Panchgani house left after the divorce. So what does he do in the very next scene? Drive over there.
And now of course it's time for the heroine to drop in. Kabir gets stuck behind a truck on the way when its tyre bursts.
Who should pop out from the back, but a woman called Suhana who is annoyingly perky. Considering what we learn later, her behaviour at this point doesn't make sense. This is just the beginning of the inconsistencies in the movie.
Of course, she misses the truck and the hero has to give her a ride. But not only that, he has to give his jacket as well. It's not snowing or raining but the AC is stuck and so he lets her borrow the jacket. The cliché romantic sequences commence with a song in the background and the heroine wanting to pull the top off the jeep so she can stand and move around because there is no traffic on the road.
Later Kabir drops her somewhere where she can find information about where the truck went because he assumes she lost her bag. Suhana barely blinks at that and says something that is supposed to be wise, something like, keep moving forward and don't get stuck in the past. This is funny coming from her considering what happens in the climax.
Kabir who has written a motivational book is so awestruck by her perkiness he doesn't realise she's stolen his jacket.
When he reaches home, Ricky is already there to take pictures of him and send them to the publisher and Rashmi who are in bed together and behaving like an old married couple who aren't interested in looking at each other. Their plan also involves bribing Kabir's house-help Bindiya so that she could seduce Kabir and be caught red-handed so that he could be defamed.
But all Bindiya does throughout the movie is watch Kabir from afar and make faces. The poor girl doesn't even get many dialogues. Yet somehow she's so good at spying on Kabir that he doesn't notice his maid snooping all around the house and finding his secret lair.
Yes, Kabir has a secret lair. Why? Because he's a meticulous writer who has been working on detective novels under the name Zaran Khan. Or the protagonist's name is that. Either way, Zaran Khan is supposed to be a vigilante.
Now that we've had so much information thrown at us, the story goes that Kabir is invited to a special function in Panchgani where Suhana has miraculously found a job without any identity papers. Her colleague doesn't let her forget that she's using her clothes. Suhana keeps making excuses to not submit her pan card and when Kabir comes to the hotel where she is one of the receptionists, she rushes out to give back Kabir his jacket that she kept laying around the desk near her because she had an intuition he was coming?
At the function, Kabir is heckled by Ricky who claims to know he is a ghostwriter and will out him and therefore make Kabir vulnerable enough to be sued for breaking the contract.
Kabir manages to deflect him while Suhana advises he should have punched him.
Kabir and Suhana become romantically involved soon enough because they enjoy adventure sports and no one else in the little town does. A song later, the two are living together.
Then one night, while Ricky is driving home, his car tyre is punctured. When he gets out, a figure in a hoodie comes over and stabs him.
The policewoman in charge of the case directly comes to Kabir because she too was present at the function and had seen Ricky harass Kabir. Suhana immediately claims she was with Kabir and kisses him in front of her. The policewoman watches without blinking, clearly not impressed with the PDA.
After she's gone, Kabir asks why Suhana lied for him to which she replies something about not wanting him to be bothered by the police.
The next night, Suhana leaves after work to go to the photo studio where Chandu the photographer works. She notices the hooded figure inside who warns Chandu about some photos but the photographer takes it lightly and has his throat slit. The blood splatters on Suhana. The hooded figure comes over to her and calls her by her name and tells her to stay mum or he would kill her and Kabir.
Suhana has already seen Kabir's lair and has become obsessed with Zaran Khan. She begins to suspect, however, that Kabir may be roaming the streets in disguise as Zaran Khan and killing people. But before that, she remembers dropping her hair clip on the street when she fainted.
At the crime scene, Suhana stealthily retrieves her hair clip but Kabir catches her and she tells him about Zaran Khan.
Another song or so later, Suhana also lets out the truth about her parents after having a nightmare. Her parents didn't die in an accident. Her father was a drunk who one night, shot his wife and one daughter, Mahek. Suhana was hiding in the closet at that time. It's a good thing that Suhana survived this but how is it that the father stopped looking for his other daughter and sat down to drink some more? Did he forget he had another daughter?
Kabir understands his lover is traumatized and gifts her his mother's jewellery.
The next morning, Kabir has gone out and Suhana wakes up to find a note from him.
She gets up and roams around the house and hears a cat.
She realises she can hear the cat from behind a wall and starts looking for ways to open the secret room.
When she opens it, a cat immediately comes running out and Suhana finds another secret room full of disguises.
She is convinced Kabir is Zaran Khan and freaks out because that means he's the one-off on a killing spree.
She doesn't stop to think how the cat got in that tiny room that has no windows. Is Kabir hoarding animals too? Or was it because he thought his dog, Charmer, won't get along with the cat and so hid the cat?
Seriously, how did the cat get in there?
And if it is Kabir's house, why does he need to have so many secret rooms to hide his disguises in? And why is Zaran Khan portrayed as a vigilante in the books, but Suhana is at first enthralled by his heroism and then convinced Zaran Khan is a cold-blooded murderer?
Everything gets so confusing it's hard to keep track of the story now.
Anyway, Kabir returns and is rewarded with a bat on his head by his lover. Suhana screams that he is a killer and runs away. He gives chase and after some time Suhana falls unconscious.
When she awakens, Kabir sings a creepy song while sitting on his chair. He's wearing a hoodie too and then assures her he isn't the killer. She too remembers that Zaran Khan was a fifty-year-old man.
Suhana is finally convinced and lets him drop her to at work.
But at the hotel, she sees Zaran Khan appear. She cowers under the desk and is rescued by Kabir who happens to be all around Suhana all the time.
Later when they return home, they find the policewoman snooping around the lair shown by Bindiya. Kabir tells her he isn't the killer, but for some reason a mental patient in Bangalore is. He also tells her Suhana was attacked today.
The policewoman and Kabir go to check the CCTV tapes when the policewoman gets a call to go somewhere else. She leaves Kabir in charge because it's okay to let civilians take partake in murder investigations. And Kabir is also a know it considering the receptionist was unable to play the tapes even though it is her job to know how to do things considering they don't have a proper security guard to actually be in charge of...well...security.
KOI JAANE NA Ending Explained with Spoilers!
Soon enough the truth is revealed when the police officers keeping watch on the house are attacked.
Suhana is the killer. And the guy walking around is Suhana's doctor who came all the way from Bangalore but didn't bring help nor inform the police of an escaped mental patient.
Suhana's story is that as a kid after her father had finished killing her mother and sister, she had shot him dead. She grew up in an asylum and then years later, was attacked by a caretaker which was when she ran away from the asylum and met Kabir. Turns out she was in her uniform when she met Kabir.
After that, she got inspired by Zaran Khan to take down bad people but then also developed a fear of him because....no idea. This unreasoning is blamed on Suhana's mental health. The writer sure thinks he can get away with all these inconsistencies by blaming them on Suhana's mental health.
So okay, all things revealed, Suhana is sent back to the asylum. Kabir doesn't break up with his murderous, mentally unstable lover.
In fact, he buys a house right next to the asylum so he can be with her and even writes a book where Suhana and Zaran Khan are partners in crime.
He outs himself as the writer behind these novels and is able to sort out the issues with his publisher and wife who haven't been seen ever since they were sitting on their bed and talking to Ricky. They clearly didn't bother even when the journalist was murdered.
But the policewoman isn't convinced the case is wrapped up. She still thinks Kabir is responsible for the other murders in the city. The doctor doesn't believe her but gives an odd look to the couple who are kissing and canoodling publicly.
This movie will seriously confuse you and when someone asks you what the story actually is, have you reply: Koi Jaane Na.
Scare scale: 1/5
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